Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sometimes people just don't understand...

~ sometimes I said I doesn't care, but MY eyes sometimes tell a different story..

~ Behind my smile is a hurting heart.  Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart.  Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me...

~ To tell you the truth, I've just been avoiding everything...

~Don't say you know me, when I don't even know myself.,

~ I think I'm afraid of being happy because everytime I'm happy, something bad always happens.

~ Just once I want someone to look at me right away and think I was beautiful...
Not after they get to know me, or after they see inside my soul, just me. 
 I want to walk in a room and light up, not blend.

~ I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much.


~ A golden heart stopped 
 beating, working hands went to rest.  He broke many hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best.

~ When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget.

~There is only one rain cloud in the sky...and it's raining on me.  Somehow I'm not surprised.

~ I wake up and think dreams are real.  I sleep so I don't have to feel.

~ It's not that I wanna have it, it's just that I wanna deserve it.

~ I don't know if you've ever felt like that.  That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that. ^^
 I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.  That's why I'm trying not to think I just want it all to stop spinning.

is it me????

sometimes this kind of words come into my mind..=.=

~ Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand.
~ No matter what, no matter who, no matter what I do, somebody hates me. -

i always realise all this thing...

~ I didn't want to admit it.  It was easier to lie.  Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry...=p

this is things that......

~ I've learned it takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it.

~ Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault.

~ Why can't you just love me for who I am?

~ Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense?  Well that's how I feel right now...
I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile...

^^~ I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.

~ Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again.  So when life gets tough you can just play pretend  When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed.  When Disney World was the best place to be.  When the only movies you could see were rated G.  When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the sameAnd every time you were sad or you had a bad day.  You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay.  I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter When everyone always lives happily ever after.


~ When I cry at night, the only thing I can think to myself can I seem so---perfectly fine in the morning.  Why do I smile like nothing is wrong?  And how does not one single person notice that I'm not okay?

~ I don't know what I want in life.  I don't know what I want right now.  All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left.  
Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it.  But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me.  And I don't know what to do.  I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more.

~ Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by. ..
 I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?  To always be unhappy and how much longer must I wait...

~ Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever...^^
~ It sucks to be alone, even when there are people all around you.   

~ I wanna get lost from my life sometimes, sit on the side and watch the world go by, I wanna get lost and I don't know why.  

~ Have you ever lived my life, have you ever spent one minute in my shoes?  If you haven't, then tell me why you judge me like you do.

~ I'm not saying I have nothing.  I'm not saying I'm gone completely.  It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle.  Sometimes I feel like it's too much.  I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right?  Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years.  But for now, just for now, it hurts.

"You know sometimes, like when someone dies, and you're sad, and it's ok to be sad?  But then there are times when you're supposed to be happy but you're sad anyway...and those times are even worse than the times when you're supposed to be sad."

~ I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything?  Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate myself.....^^

huhuhu..i'm juz little bit upset n frustrating with people around me that I ALWAYS CALL FRIENDS....-.-
                                                                                                                                         YANG TERINDAH..

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


alkisah akibat x taw nak buat ape masa cuti ni kan~~ 
terhasillah coretan yg bermakna bg ak tp x taw ;la org len^^

@@@mesti semua org kenal kan diorg yg paling ak minat..yg  len pun minat gak mcam ft island, go girl, dbsk, super junior n etc...but I really adore them...^^
""diorg ni sbnarnya bkan asal dari grup yg sama...dae sung n GD yg mula2 form grup..nama len tp ak da lupa...dae sung vokalis n GD sbg leader...pas2, masuk la ni dulu b4 join 2 org ni,dia underground rapper...ntah taun bila nya dirg ni brgabung...jadila BIG BANG....lagu 1st yg ak dngar terus tangkap cintan mestila lagu "LIE"...n I keep fllow them until  now...memang besss^^

BIG BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^GD??? it means...G-DARGON....ape ni???org k?bnda?brand?or???? here means g-dragon from big bang....hahhaha...knape la aku sngat2 minat n adore him??? but I like all of them...BIG BANG IS BACK!!!~dae sung.TOP.tae yung, seung of big bang..

he's very cute, stylish n hv a nice voice^^ how can sumone be soo freakin hot like him????hahaha...also his silly face make me feels..ummmmm^^..=.=
he so funny, always smile n maintain cool=p

cute rite???
**dae sung, seung ri, g-dragon, Top, tae yung**
^^big bang^^

;p/s:kalo nak taw, gd ni suka pakai sluar kaler purple...^^

ak nak pakwe macam dia...ada k? perfect k dia??
hahaha..citer sal future husband, ak nak suami yg ada ciri2 macam adam...=p but i'm juz wondering...ada k?? susa nak cari mcam watak dia...but I WILL FIND doakan la ak x jadi cam maya...cantik cam dia nak la...sekurang kurangnya SLIM macam dia pn da kira ok...hehehe...dapat anak lak kiut cam mia sara 2...amani la...^^

nak SLIM macam lisa..


sweet  mcm amani ni ha*^^

tp ari 2, ak da terbaca kat paper...small title/news...

"watak adam dalam adamaya  HANYA watak antagonis lelaki melayu"
so?nak kata pe ag???2 pendapat individu la kan..hahaha..
betul la 2 kot...adam perfect ngat dalam citer 2..
pepun, keep  praying for the good match..=p

da melalut sampai ke mana da sy ni..da ngantuk ni...I think its better to stop before I write the other nonsense things....hahahaha..=.= 

nite semua..don't forget to close da window k..^^..

Monday, May 24, 2010

weight gain^^

tak suka gemuk...** 2 ayat yg semua org taw...semua org x nak kelihatan gemuk..maklumla..ak kalo cuti n have noting to do, berat bdan akan bertambah...huhuhu...=p pepun, ak kna wat sumtim or little bit works..=p

ummm..sebenarnya pe yg aku nak tulis ai ni memang pasal GEMUK...aku terpikir adakah aku da tersalah cakap sumtim kat anak sedara ak till he make me feel ......(gulp)....
ok, mcmni, pg semalam kitorg ngah breakfast..tetiba aku rasa n terperasan yg he become a little bit chubby...n ak pun ckapla...

                   "eh, abg da gemuk jer cik naa x tengok brape bulan...dia terus tersenyap...n then, he keep quite till finish his breakfast..ak da pelik...sumtim wrong k????

n pg td ak masuk bilik dia nak amek brg n then ak ternampak kat dinding dia tampal kertas yg berbunyi..."when I eat, I feel like a failure"...ak terkejut la...n then,terpikir..ak salah cakap k?? huhuhu..ntahla..ak malas nak stalker lbih2 bilik dia...agpun, pg2 ni, he went to school..hahaha....^^pepun, abg sowri taw kalo cik naa salah cakap or cik naa buat  abg terasa..pepun, cik na pun gemuk jgak..kita slim 2gether k...6ti cik naa blanja ice skating kat sunway je...hehehe^^,...

..x der la gemuk sngat...both of us^^

gemuk pun tkpe...baju besar pn da bnyak kat pasaran skrg...hihihi...=p

 even fat, still we loving them..^^

^^sowri to my hero if I said sumthim that hurt u..=.=^^

nampak cam cik naa yg chubby...^^

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


tension2 abes jawab la masa yang aku tngu2...bkan ak len pun...huhuhu....MENGEMAS!!!!!~bnyak ngat barang ak....macamn nak kemas ni????bilik da macam kapal pecah da...huhuhu...x taw nak start n mula dari mana...ape yg kna wat balik...ape yang patut yg nak di buang...ape yg kna simpan...nota plak...ummmm,,nak buang k simpan tuk junior...junior???hahaha...ase cam x caye jer sem depan ada junior..hahaha...ak automatik la senior...ummm, org kata kalo da jadi senior ni, kena behave sket...maklumla,..da ada adik..huhuhu...ummm.sebut sal kemas barang ni...x sampai 2 jam pun sebenarnya ak  siap da kemas...nak bliknya khamis,.ari ni selasa(*malam*)...bley la 2 kemas sket2....aku n syifa sibuk kemas barang....n alhamdulillah....semua da beres~~
bila da beres ni, pe ak nak buat pas ni tuk ilangkan boring??? try bagi idea...tengok movie????kuar makan angin???pegi shopim???mana 1???duit da pokai skrg~~huhuhu...biasala, sem pn da habis..nak mntak ngan maa abah????huhuhu...malu....:~..ngeh3..dop je la kat bilik...on9...facebook. skype. lg???ummmm..stalker fb org, korang...jaga2~~

 meh kita tengok n rasa feel org mengemas ni..=p

 uisshhh..nape mulut 2??marah sape ea...
ok...jom berkemas~~ 

 tengokla bilik kitorg..huhuhu...kesian si syifa kena diri lipat ken..=p

online jap...ada mesej masuk....
men2 la plak...ilangkan tension..kononnya nak amek gambar kenangan terakhir la....hahaha....
**selipar pink 2 dapat free..malula plak..disebabkan x amek bnyak gambar yg je la yg, publish la gambar ni...huahuahua...selipar pink ku...dapat free 2~~ 

**ni semua barang yang aku da asingkn tuk ditinggalkan n bawa balik....

tara!!!!da siap semua..bley titow ngan lena la lepas ni..huhuhu...=.=
p/sss: to all my beloved friends....cepat2 kemas barang korang sebelum rasa malas datang!!!

kedai kopi.....=.=

alkisah cerita ni bermula masa ak pergi makan malam kat kedai seberang yg ada buah ceri (bdak umk taw la)hehehe...memang seronok dapat makan nasi goreng ikan masin....air neslo...(tiru syifa'_ n after that both of us had migrain.....)sakit semua syifa pnya pasal...memang hubungan kitorg( ak n syifa') memang bek ngat ( org kelate kate: kacip kak kak)ngan mak cik kedai 2...hahaha...kitorg x pernah pergi kat kedai 2 malam..maklumla jauh...da la jalan malam 2 ramai yg pergi, seronok la...kalo makan siang( nasi campur), biasanya bayar dulu n makan...
ok...da bley start, ak makan n after kitorg nak blik ak ngan bangganya bgun n ncakap kat mak cik 2 "bye mak cik!!!" semua kawan2 ak tengok pelik kat ak n ak  pn ase pelik....bila lama terpikir, baru ku tersedar yg ak x bayar lagi...spontaneous reaction: ak pun terus lari pergi k kainter..maluuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....semua kawan2 ak gelak kat ak....da la ramai org kat kedai...mak cik 2 siap kenakan ak,..padahal dia pun balas gak lambaian ak..huhuhu..2 la bila da hepi...
sampai kat bilik pn ak tergelak lg..huhuhu..

**********ni kedai len plak...*******

ak order "tea o beng limau" dia antar tea o  limau panas..x pernah ag semenjak ak besar ni minum air panas kat kedai...x kira pg k petang, mesti ais3....ak malu nak mintak tukar sebab org yg amek order 2...ntahla....huhuhu..ak minum la....sedang syok2 minum n tiup_fuhfuhfuh.....tiba2 teringat masa kecik2 dulu.....
masa ak kecik dulu..slalu ikut abah ak pergi kedai kopi..huhuhu...duduk kat depan atas motor..seronok....kat kedai kopi x der ais pagi2 n org2 tua mana minum ais..n ayah ak dengan penuh kasihnya menuang air milo 2 kat ats  piring cawan n slow2 tiup...n baru bagi ak minum dalam piring 2...sungguh terharu bila ingat balik...korg pun mesti ada pengalaman macam ak kan? 
bila ingat balik, rasa rindu waktu2 macam 2...memang sekarang ni pun still lg kuar makan nagn abah..
tp da x dapat rasa air milo dalam piring...bila direnung balik, itulah kasihnya ayah kat anak2...abah ak ni jenis yang sangat2 mengambil berat...sangat2..kadang2 ak yang rasa rimas...teruk kan anak macam ak??????????huhuhu...abah, maafkan anak mu ini....
agak2..zaman sekarang ni bley lagi x tengok keadaan cam 2 kat kedai...kedai kopi pn jarang ada sekarng..kalo ada pn da canggih....ala2 kopitiam...~~
pepun semua 2 dipanggil kenangan...=.=

tea o beng limau yg da tertukar ngan tea o limau panas..

yang terindah...
~luna wichester~

Monday, May 3, 2010

yuna k?

some people said i looks like yuna....its it true??....i don' t know...some said, my style look like madam calculus it rite???? also don' t know...ummmm.mybe people have their own view n opinion...but the important things that i want to say juz i have my own desire n i do not follow other people..juz me n  yuna or smebdy else..huhuhu..mybe some people will b proud if others say that her face like siti nor haliza or others beautiful public figure..doesnt matter....i want to be own, juz ignore what people around me..hehehe....

lets me write some story for da resders@@@@@@@@@@@@
 masa ak jalan2 kat shopping complex suatu masa dahulu (zaman ni x ramai lg pandai pkai shawl n shawl pn x der ag kat pasar2)..ak pakai la shawls...ngah syok2 ronda tetiba ada org cakap. eh! yuna la...ak terkezut la kan..mana x nya...jauh kot beza muka ak ngan muka dia...huhuhu...salah tengok kot..huhuhu...
yg ak geramnya, bila ku tnya org2 yg rapat ngan ak....
diorm cakap "ada la nak sama sket2.."
n then mak ak kata kalo sama pn knape....biar je la...
lgpun,kat dunia ni ada 7 org muka yg sama @iras2 ngan muka kita~~
huhuhu...teringat plak cerita pasal budak yg nama HARRY POTTER...disebabkan nama dia sama dgan nama pelakon utama harry potter, hidup dia dalam keadaan yg x tenteram bahkan huru hara coz org ingat dia ni ahli sihir....n for the true, he wes born before the movie was published...kebetulan kan?
kat dunia ni ada ramai manusia yg muka seakan akan...kadang2 suami isteri pun seakan akan adik beradik... 
                                                                                           ....indahnya ciptaan ALLAH...

  x jelas la plak gambar si yuna ni...x der la gambar dia..huhuhu..tkpela~~

stdy k men????

knape la la paper kimia is da last paper...huh!!! out of mood to stdy coz my mind always think about holiday...huhuhu...of course, my friends also waiting for dat...ummmmm...bila citer sal study jer...ak da cerita bes tuk dikongsi..pernah x korg ada pengalamn pelik2 ngan geng2 korg tentang ape yg korg wat masa study week...since mata ak pun x ngantuk ag, ak nak story la sket pengalamn ak bila tiba stdy weeek...semua org tension bila sebut, pikir n lalui masa study week.mas ni la the time to grab all the old notes, to wke up late, to oversleep n to find all the movie collection....hahaha....ak pun kadang2 tumpang sekaki....hahaha...masa ni la macam2 bnda bdak2 ni nak buat...macam2 ragam yg ada..masa matrik dulu, seingat ak...bdak aras ak siap wat video klip lg....hahaha...ak tukang gelak...memng lucu la..ada yg terperap kat library 24 hours...betul k?huhuhu...ada jgak...masa nio jgak la berpek pek magy di santap oleh students ni(termasuk la anti)..huhuhu..pepun..ak mis sngat2 the moment kat matrik dulu,...ohh!!!forgot to say..ii'm ex students PENANG MATRICULATION~~

lecture hall_KMPP

dekat KMPP ni yg cantiknya bila tiba jer musim kat oversea...mybe nak bg early view 4 students n sbgai penbakar semangt tuk sape2 yg nak g oversea...hahaha...cantik..8)

Nice view right????
actually kat depan 2 ada kandang kuda n tempat pelihara lembu n kambing...huhuhu...view da cantik, tp bau plak problem...hehehehe...n actually sekitar kmpp ni semuanya pokok kelapa sawit...ummmm...2 la kmpp...
ase rindu jer nak jd students kmpp....dalam ketegangan n ketensionan yg di alami disitu...tetap terukir seribu satu kenangan~~